just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
