It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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