By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
