I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
