We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
