It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
