Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
