my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
