Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
