tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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