oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
