therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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