don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
