DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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