you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
