i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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