at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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