I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
bring money and cleavage
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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