Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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