I heard we made out
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
