Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
