The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
