i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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