"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
