Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He did a backflip because drugs
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