i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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