there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
