Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
