i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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