According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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