I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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