fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
