Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
