I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
