If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
try to milk me bitch
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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