just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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