So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
