There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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