i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
