when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
