going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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