even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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