You just made me feel so damn special
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
