This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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