one might say we're banned from that church
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
