dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Randomize
