i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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