There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
