I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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