i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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